This is an open letter to Elyse, the Wild Moon Woman, whom I actually wasn’t really aware of until she deleted everything and denounced her past work as “evil” and “demonic”, when it clearly had brought so much Light and Inspiration to others and had done nothing but uplift the vibe up until that point… I guess I’ll never know, because you deleted everything.
I understand struggling with depression and wanting to find comfort in a connection with God, with The Divine, however one may choose to call it. My connection with Jesus and my Guardian Angel are very strong, I felt their loving presence growing up in the church: My grandmother is a devout Catholic, my father is a 7th Day Adventist, sometimes Pentecostal, and most of my family members are varying degrees of Catholic, Methodist, Episcopalian, etc…
In essence, I knew the Padrenuestro (Lord’s Prayer), Ave Maria, and Prayer to my guardian angel by the time I was 2 years old, went to church pretty regularly, attended Catholic and Menonite Schools, went to Christian Summer Camp and was even named Camper of the year for my contributions during worship assembly. I loved Jesus and he comforted me in my dreams, and I felt his presence when I sang to him with my heart, and knew that He is Real, knew it in my bones, without a doubt, because I had experienced Him.
I was so into Jesus, that I wanted to be a nun and be married to Him and let him work through me to help others and help heal the world. Then, puberty hit and I realized that celibacy wasn’t really gonna be an option for me, ha! I felt really bad and prayed every time I indulged, and I promised I wouldn’t do it again, and I longed to find the man I’d marry so that I wouldn’t feel bad about making my body feel good. With my Leo Sun, Leo Moon, Scorpio rising, Lilith in Aquarius trine my True Node in Gemini in my 8th House, I didn’t stand a chance of keeping that promise, with the teenage hormones doing what they do. If you know anything about astrology, you know what I’m talking about, but I digress.
Anyhow, I was very much into Jesus. Although I didn’t attend church regularly, I prayed and sang to God and Jesus in my backyard, up in the mountains in Puerto Rico, I lived by the 10 commandments and read the gospels for fun, because Jesus was most definitely my favorite part of the Bible (Esther and Ruth and Daniel were pretty cool, too… BTW, Daniel was a seer and magician, a man of letters and interpreter of dreams, able to withstand fire and walk among hungry lions because God was with him).
I ignored the old Law, because Jesus had come with a New Commandment: That we Love each other as we love ourselves. He welcomed everyone with compassion, recommended not being selfish and judgmental, said that God is Love and that the Kingdom of Heaven is within us, and that all felt TRUE TRUE TRUE. I still feel that in my bones, and when I sing, it sings through me.
And when I read, it reads through me.
When my Aunt first read the cards for me, she opened her prayer asking for Jesus, the Angels, Mother Mary and the Holy Spirit to help us see the Truth in the cards and lead us with Grace. I still open up every reading session with a variation on that prayer.
I had a terrible crisis of faith in my early 20’s, I went hard into science and completely neglected my creativity and spirituality. Didn’t touch my cards or sing for about 6 years. I was achieving my goals and paying my bills, but I felt miserable, depressed, and, yes, suicidal thoughts visited my mind as they do every now and again.
Then, when I turned 26, right as I was separating from my now ex-husband, I got diagnosed with Thyroid cancer, such was the throat chakra block I had going on! My mother was very scared and turned to God, and encouraged me to do the same, and that was the beginning of my spiritual reawakening.
Believing that the Divine can speak to us through the cards, I picked up my trusty ol’ Rider Waite Smith, the only deck I owned at the time, and started reading for myself again, and after much urging, I finally gave in to the insistance of Spirit that I open my business as a Tarot Reader and take my music more seriously, to really try to realize my dreams, and slowly but surely, things have been progressing, amazing opportunities and synchronicities have come my way, and I’m on my 2nd year of Self-Employment now, 5 years after starting my business. I’m not living in luxury, but that’s not what I got into this for. I got into this to help others see more clearly, because that is my way of doing Jesus’ work in this world. Bear with me.
Although I still struggle with depression and sadness, I see them as part of the human experience, part of the illusion of separation from the Divine, and recognize the trauma that has caused the pain that triggered the responses, some of it happened within my lifetime, some of it I inherited from my ancestors. When it rears its head, I work my way through it the best that I can and call on Jesus and Mother Mary and Archangel Raphael to help me heal and to ease my pain, and to help me do the things I need to do to make myself feel better. I’m still healing, but I’m okay with that process, and learning to Love myself through it.
Here’s what I believe: When Jesus said that God is Love… I feel like he meant that Love is God. Love is what drives the spark of Creation and so, when we create from a place of Love, we channel God.
Somewhere in the Bible it says that God is omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient. If God is present in every space, has the power to do every thing, and sees everything and knows everything… How could that be if God wasn’t, in fact, Every Thing, every rock, and tree and creature, every space where the potential for creation and action exists, every single subatomic particle zipping around?
I’m not the first to say that It is All One Thing. That Everything is Sacred. The magnitude of the Divine Creator’s true nature is so limitless that it is ineffable, it is beyond the capacity for us to comprehend while our Consciousness is embodied in our brains, limited by three dimensions and the boundedness of matter as it is.
In her book Working with Spirit Guides, Ruth White shares one of the teachings that her Spirit Guide, Gildas, shared with her, ‘The Many Faceted Jewel of Truth’. The Absolute Truth of Everything is a like a jewel, with many facets. “The whole Jewel is only complete with all its facets, but at any given moment you can see into the center of the jewel through only a few of the facets.” (R. White, Piatkus, 2004). Our perception of the True Nature of God is limited by the facet of the Cultural Mindset we bring with us, shaped by our experiences, and the experiences of our Ancestors, carried within us in our DNA. The Divine Creative Consciousness presents itself to us, through us, in archetypal images, the essential Truths of the Totality of Experience. Tarot is just a nice catalog of all these symbols, arranged in a scramble-your-own-adventure story board building kit format, Wisdom that came to us as a simple game first, until we realized what we had created, and found its meaning within us, and taught each other how to read it.
The ability to connect to the Divine through Prayer and Meditation is Universal. Words have the power to invoke reality. They can build, and they can wound. It is the intention behind the words that gives them Power. Tarot gives the Divine the chance to speak back, and it is merely a tool.
Can it be used for evil? To conjure up messages from lower vibrational entities trapped in Anger and Greed and Fear? You betcha. That’s why we have to be very careful when we start to read, I always open calling on the Protection of Archangel St. Michael, and the Guidance of Jesus and Mother Mary… as well as Merlin and Kwan Yin, And all the Enlightened and Wise Dead. Not everyone reads the cards like this, but this is what I believe. And I believe They protect me and help me, because I am doing Their Work bringing healing and peace and clarity and understanding into this messy classroom we call Life.
My favorite chapter of the Bible is Corinthians I, Chapter 13. Let’s remember what Jesus said: God is Love. Then flip our thought around to think that Love is God, and let’s read it again. It does say that you can have the Gift of Prophecy and not have Love in your heart, so, if Love is the Creative Divine Consciousness, there are other ways to get Prophecy. There are, in the spirit World, those entities of Darkness and Pain and Evil, which get fed by Darkness and Pain and Fear and Evil, call them Demons if you like. Tarot can be used to contact them, too, if that’s what someone wants to use it.
The cards are just a tool. The Connection to the Spirit world is within us. Jesus himself said so in that much-debated verse of Luke 17, when he said the Kingdom of Heaven is within us/in our midst. (Luke 17:20-21) No one can tell you, you will know in your Heart of Hearts when you are there. And Jesus also said “No one goes through the Father except through me”.
Who is Jesus? Who is the Father?
Let’s think of the Father in Archetypal terms as the “Masculine”/Active/Yang energy of the Divine Creative Consciousness. The Pillar of Severity in the Kabbalah. I’m sure there are other ways of describing it that different traditions have figured out, but those should suffice, right? So, in order to achieve Divine Manifestation, or Miracles, by the Grace of the Divine, we must connect with the Love within us, and from that loving, caring, grateful state, Grace is granted and the Divine Power flows through us, and Miracles manifest. Some call it Magic.
Now, I don’t know if there is enough scientific evidence for the Historical, Embodied Yeshua of Nazareth, I haven’t seen enough to convince me that he did, in fact Exist, considering the Gospels are all written about 100 years after he was supposed to have walked among us. But I STILL BELIEVE JESUS IS 100% REAL, even if he didn’t walk among us.
Jesus is the Archetype of Love as the Divine Creator, Love in Action, what some call the “Christ Consciousness”, the Ability to Manifest Miracles and Embody our Divinity, which is within us, if we can find that middle way in the Tree of Life, between the Pillar of Severity (The Father) and the Pillar of Mercy. Jesus was not all fluff and rainbows, He was a badass who wasn’t afraid to flip some tables and literally crack a whip if people were being disrespectful. But he was kind and compassionate to everyone, to the foreigners and the women, even those whom others saw as “unclean”. No One is unclean. Everyone is worthy of the Grace of God’s Love.
But why does the Bible warn us against fortune-telling and the like? Because the Male God of the Bible had a really lousy PR team, who were in it for politics and power and money, and they wanted to supress and subsume the Divinely Creative Potential within all of us. By reducing the access to Divine Inspiration, they keep us from evolving into the next phase, the one where we are all “woke” and realize that once there’s no need to hoard wealth and resources because there REALLY is enough for all of us. The way they have divorced us from our Divine potential was by blinding us to it, by demonizing and suppressing the power of the “Feminine”/Receptive/Yin aspect of the Divine Creative Consciousness, establishing the gd Patriarchy. If we look at the symbolism of the Lovers card in the Tarot, when the Feminine and Masculine energies within us are in harmony, The Masculine looks to the Feminine, while the Feminine looks up to the Divine, which rains Their Grace down upon us.
During my Level I Reiki class and attunement, my teacher Darcy Mason shared a theory that one of her teachers had shared with her, and it resonated very strongly with me, and it goes something like this: Humanity as a whole is evolving through the chakras, starting at the Base, when we were in our Hunter-Gatherer, Cave-Dwelling phase. And then we started getting smarter and craftier, figured out Iron, and Bronze, and Steel, and Agriculture, and that was our progression through the Sacral chakra.
And then we started going up into the Solar Plexus, the potential for lower entities to entice us with greed and sparkle, and stir up violence within us to fight for whatever limited resources there were. And some powerful, greedy entities latched on to some strong, greedy men, and increased their power.
This is where you can say I go a little kooky and into conspiracy theory territory, and well, I admit it’s all speculation, but this is where the so-called Powers That Be began to gather resources, and they’re not ready to give them up, they are stuck in the “ME-ME-ME” of the Solar Plexus, fear has prevented them from opening up to their Heart. That’s why they decided to control access to education and knowledge, distract us with war and petty entertainment, so that we couldn’t realize the limitless potential within us if only we learn to truly LOVE and care for each other, once we move up into our Hearts.
And that’s what we’re going through right now, the so called Dawning of the Age of Aquarius. More and more people are starting to wake up and to move into their heart space, despite the System that the Powers That Be have set up to maintain their chokehold on humanity and their resources, to feed their own greed. And that’s all I’m going to say about them, because I believe words have power, so I purposefully seek to simply not feed them any of my energy by speaking of them. Let them do what they do. They can’t stop the Evolution of the Embodiment of the Divine Creative Consciousness, which is what I believe Humanity is.
You see, the Loving Divine Creative Consciousness wanted to know what it felt like to be its own creation, and so it breathed its own Life into Matter, making us in its own Image. Our Creative potential is what sets us apart from the rest of the creatures on this planet, the capacity for self-reflection and advanced abstract thought. I mean, we figured out how to fly up in the air by the hundreds, how to talk to each other in real time across the globe and see each other with only a few seconds delay. That’s some miraculous stuff right there; in olden days, it would’ve been called “Magic” because we didn’t have the knowledge to understand it yet.
Jesus is the Embodiment of Love as God, guiding us to the next step of our evolution.
Tarot is just a tool, then, like a hammer, it is absolutely neutral, neither good nor evil. A hammer can build a house to shelter us, hang a picture to bring us beauty, or it can crack a skull wide open, or smash a thumb into oblivion. It all depends on the intention and care of the wielder. I wield my tools with Care, and always under the loving influence of Jesus and the Divine Creative Consciousness, and a few months ago, Jesus graced me with a clear sign that we’re cool.
I was having a discussion with my boyfriend, a skeptic, Devil’s Advocate type, we were discussing Jesus, whether he was Real or not, and I told him that Jesus was 100% real, and that I was doing his work, what I explained a few paragraphs ago.
And I got the urge to give some evidence. I felt in my heart “Go get your Ascended Master’s deck, and ask.”
So I told him “Wait a second”, and grabbed my copy of Doreen Virtue’s Ascended Masters deck, and a piece of rose quartz.
“In this deck, there is a card corresponding to Jesus. I’m going to pray and connect with Jesus and ask him to help me show you he’s real by randomly drawing his card from the deck.”
I was so sure it would work, as I placed the rose quartz over my heart chakra and thanked him for all his help and loving assistance throughout my whole life, and to please, let me show this man the truth of His power. Then when I felt ready, I shuffled the cards, cut into three, fanned them out in front of me, used my right hand to hold the rose quartz to my heart again, and hovered my left hand back and forth over the cards, waiting for that “tingle” I feel sometimes. I went over the whole deck from left to right and right to left and felt a moment of hesitation, of wondering if this was hubris or ego, and then I felt a clear buzz on my fingers, dropped my hands onto a card that felt hotter than the other ones and flipped it…
Of course it was the Jesus card, because Jesus is awesome and when you ask with Faith, if it’s possible and good for us, He will Grace us with his Power.
My boyfriend’s jaw dropped, and he accused me of rigging it, of playing card tricks, but that isn’t something that I would even know how to do, and I didn’t care. The confirmation was so strong for me, and I felt surrounded in the loving warmth of His presence, I felt his hand on my back, and the perma-knot between my shoulder blades eased up for a moment. Thank you, Jesus!
My boyfriend, a true skeptic, wanted to do it again, shuffling the cards himself. I told him “Why was once not enough? God doesn’t like to be tested, this is not a game… I’ll try again, but I don’t know if it’ll work a second time.”
So he shuffled, and fanned the cards, and I held the rose quartz to my heart and asked again. I felt the “buzz” a bit fainter that time, and I didn’t pull the Jesus card. I pulled this one:
Definitely not Jesus, but it makes sense, and White Tara reminds me of Kwan Yin, Mother of Mercy. I wasn’t as certain it would work a second time, and so, it didn’t, because Faith matters. But my boyfriend looked at the cards adjacent to it… and one of them was the Jesus card. It was enough for him to say “… well, maybe.” His eyes told another story.
Looking at the cars though, the predominant colors are light green and pink, associated with the heart chakra. Love in action, bringing purification and ascendance into the next stage of our evolution.
Anyhow, this is just my testimony, for whatever it’s worth. If you’ve made it all the way down here, you’re a champ, and thank you for your time!
I hope this helps you find some peace and reconciliation if you love Jesus, like I do, and feel conflicted about reading Tarot or working with crystals or anything like that.
Remember that God is Love, and Love is God, and as long as you are working from a place of Love, compassion and care, you can’t go wrong.
Good luck, and Many Blessings to you!