Why I believe again, part 2.

I’m back! I told you you wouldn’t have to wait as long for a new post as you did last time 🙂

This is a continuation of the previous post, so if you haven’t read it yet, please start here.

… So, as I was saying, I interviewed to go back to work as an optician in February, and made a good impression, but they were unable to offer me enough hours for me to quit my corporate job. So I went back to it, knowing that my days there were numbered, but not their exact number.

This should’ve been enough to relieve my stress, but the truth is, my work ethic doesn’t allow me to work at something and not care about it. I always want to do my best, and my computer and tools were still acting up, and the pressure to perform was still as present as ever.

Due to the stress, a chronic state of sweaty-palm anxiety started to set in. Over the course of a few weeks, this developed into a very painful case of dishydrotic eczema: lots of tiny little fluid-filled bumps just under my skin, itchy and burning and painful as hell.

I would meditate, and try to relax when I got home, but nothing helped. The only thing that gave some relief was… the weekend. Saturday and Sunday my hands would go back to normal, then by the time Wednesday came around it would start getting bad, and by the time Friday would come around, I’d be wanting to strip the skin off my hands clean off, it was so horrible. March and April went by like this.

By Friday, May 2nd, I felt I was at the end of my rope. I had to take a couple of hours off work, because I literally COULDN’T work anymore, my hands were in so much pain I was crying. I went home and sat in front of my altar, lit some Archangel Raphael incense, and begged for his healing help, praying and then meditating, before going to bed extra-early.

The next morning, Saturday, I had a chiropractor appointment, so I woke up early. Instagram fiend that I am, I opened the app and this is the first image at the top of my feed:

I thanked Raphael for the confirmation, and went to my appointment with Dr. Jon at Cream City Chiropractic in BayView.

After the appointment, I was driving back towards the freeway on Lincoln Ave, when the green glint of copper of the dome of St. Josaphat’s Basilica caught my eye.  In case you don’t know, green is traditionally Archangel Raphael’s color. And I felt pulled towards the church, even though I hadn’t been to church in years.

As I walked into the church, I gasped in amazement at all the green marble everywhere. I took some holy water and drew a cross, and a six-pointed star, whispering “as above, so below” on the palms of my hands.

There wasn’t a mass happening at the time, and there were very few people inside. There are two smaller altars to each side of the main Sanctuary in the front, and I went to the far left and sat in quiet meditation for a few minutes, then I felt the need to light a candle offering. Everyone else had left and I had the church all to myself.

Instead of going to the candle offering altar that was immediately to the right of the altar in front of which I had been kneeling, I felt pulled to the one on the other side of the main sanctuary. I put my money in the offertory box, and knelt where I felt pulled towards. As I took the flame from another candle to light my own, the wind outside picked up and started whistling through the rafters, beautiful natural tones.

I sat in prayer and quiet meditation for a while, and felt the urge to look up and to the left, into the main sanctuary. I was flooded with a feeling of love and peace as I saw I had been pulled towards the exact point in the church where a beautiful mosaic of Archangel Raphael would be perfectly centered in an arch, and it felt like a confirmation again. “I hear your prayers, child, help is on the way”.

I wept with relief and gratitude, as I felt surrounded and filled with love and peace. I stayed there for a while. Eventually, I pulled out my phone and took a picture, because I wanted to keep that view as a reminder:


Do you see Archangel Michael peeking out from the left, too? 🙂

Here’s a closer view:


I left, feeling peaceful, but then once again I felt pulled: towards the gift shop. There were lots of crucifixes, images of Mother Mary, rosaries, the usual fare expected in a catholic gift shop. And then, to the back of the store, lots of small worry stones with words inscribed in them. And in the very center of them all, this one:


Shimmering, Iridescent emerald green, with the same word as what was on that Oracle card. I bought it, and added it to my little pouch of crystals I had been carrying with me.

The following Monday, I meant to call back to see if the people at the optical place had enough hours for me, but kept feeling like I needed to wait. Around noon, they called me, offering me full time hours. I was floored and humbled, and so, so grateful.

And this experience has reinforced my reawakened faith. This is why I believe again today. Thank you for letting me share this experience with you! If you would like to share your own tales of being touched by angels, please find me on Facebook or Twitter, and let’s have a conversation!

Have a lovely day, everyone. Namaste!


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Why I believe again, part 1.

I know that last time I said that next I would write about how I stopped singing for a long time, but since then I had a wonderful experience that I would like to share with you all.

You may have seen in my Facebook and Instagram feeds how I recently left my corporate job:

I feel the need to share the experiences leading up to this post, as I feel inspired and humbled, and feel the need to publicly express my gratitude.

There are still very many people I care about that work at the big corporation I used to work at, and to respect their privacy I will only refer to it as The Company whenever mentioned.

Please note that The Company could very well refer to any gigantic conglomerate corporate entity. I’ll just say it’s one of the Big  Companies, generally rated as one of the top employers, excellent pay and benefits when you can get them, after working the legal maximum contractor time. Profits in the billions, yet laying people off whenever profits didn’t grow at a high enough rate from last year. It’s just business, and people are only as valuable as their numbers are, and shareholder profits are the first priority.

The Mercury retrograde of this past February hit my work laptop HARD, starting in the shadow period. My productivity declined, but I thought it was a system-wide issue, because the web-hosted applications they used were also having intermittent issues… So I didn’t communicate the issues I was having properly with my manager. That darn Mercury.

After 6 weeks of feeling extremely frustrated because my tools weren’t working like they should, my manager takes me aside and gives me a scolding like I couldn’t believe, even going as far as saying that my routinely being 5 minutes late (even though I always more than made-up for the time later) made me the most unreliable member of the team, even though I was one of the go-to people whenever there was a procedural question from any other team member, and a couple of account managers always specifically asked that I complete their large complicated requests (I was working in sales support, creating legal documents), because they felt very confident in my conscientiousness.

The local tech support took a look at my laptop, and replaced the hard disk because he couldn’t quite figure out what was wrong; that seemed to fix the computer issue for a little while. I started coming in a bit earlier, but there was a lot of tension, and a week after our first meeting, when I had a lot of emails in my inbox right when I came in, I forgot to log in to the Instant Messenger app that The Company uses until 15 minutes after my starting time.

I logged on, and immediately got a message from my boss, chewing me out because I was late, when in reality I had been at my desk and working 5 minutes before my starting time. That was the last straw. I cried as silently as I could at my desk as I continued working.

I sent a text to an old friend from the optical world. He used to be my manager back when I worked  as an optician at the Big Multinational Optical Store during my undergraduate college years. He now works at a small, locally owned optical chain. I asked him if they were hiring, and he said “Actually, we could really use some help from someone with your level of experience. I’ll put in a good word with my boss”, my friend is a store manager now, “You’ll be hired on the spot”.

Wow. That felt like such a relief, but also such a scary prospect. Going back to the job I had got as a high school graduate, no need for the degree I worked so hard for, and taking an $8/hour pay cut. More than that, counting overtime. I’d gotten used to my comfy lifestyle, eating out several times a week, able to afford the rare occasional cheap vacation, and still having a real shot at getting rid of my credit card debt within a year.

I hesitated. I was very afraid to take such a seemingly gigantic risk. So I sat down and meditated.

I remembered how I came into optics in the first place.


Back when I was 18 years old, I had been working at a small hydraulic cylinder factory. I had dropped out of my sophomore year of college 8 months before, and had been working as a temp. Supposedly as a receptionist, but I was actually doing accounts receivable, accounts payable, administrative assistant, and customer service rep. All for the low wage of $9.50/hour, when the older white lady who had been doing the job before me had been paid $16/hour, with benefits.

My mom had come to visit from Puerto Rico, and was taking me to get an eye exam and eye glasses at the Big Optical Store in the mall. I was too broke to afford them by myself, and we had been talking about how unfairly they were compensating me at my job. The optician who was helping us was coincidentally also from Puerto Rico, and was able to understand our conversation, and said “You know, we need some help here, and we start at $10/hour. I bet you could do this very well.”

I remembered how I was able to flex my hours around my school schedule, and how I was able to get so much accomplished outside of my job. And how I cried with real disappointment when the Big Multinational Company’s location that I was working at hadn’t been doing so well and I was fired in my 6th year, after I missed the bus from campus to the remote parking lot and was a little late one too many times, even though I had the highest secret shop score in the store. (I suspect it was because I had been in my position the longest, and probably had the highest salary. That location is now closed, by the way…)

And then I felt it in my bones, as clearly as if I had heard it.

I am here to help people see, spiritually, through the Tarot. Helping people see also with my day job also feels very consonant with that. And it would give me the flexibility to pursue the things I am truly passionate about: developing my tarot business, and music, and writing, and art.


Well, my friend was a bit too optimistic, but it just turned out that I was able to interview 3 days later, on Valentine’s day, and they wanted to hire me, but they had just hired someone else and didn’t have enough hours to offer me. They’d keep me in mind and give me a call as soon as they had a full time position. I told them to please call me when they did, as I wasn’t in any real danger of getting fired at my then-current job…

My goodness, look at the time! It’s past 1 am, and I have to be up in 6 and a half hours… I seem to forget that although I’m back at my college job, I’m not college-aged any more! I need my sleep or I get cranky, LOL.

I promise I won’t leave you hanging as long as I did last time. In fact, I’ll come back and finish this anecdote tomorrow. You can expect that I’ll be blogging more regularly from now on, now that I’m starting to settle into my new, much less stressful day-job routine.

Also, now that I’m starting to feel like I’ve REALLY started, after such a long silence, I may have a hard time shutting up. Ha!

I promise once I get all the mushy introduction out, so that you can better get an idea of where I’m coming from, I’ll get down to more specifically tarot-licious blogging. But first there’s a pillow upstairs with my name on it. Well, not literally, but I did sorta claim it as mine with small polished chunks of celestite and scolecite inside the pillowcase… hehe.



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Why I believe

There will always be an excuse for not taking a risk. And keeping the kind of blog I feel called to keep feels like a risk to me: exposing how far into the “woo” end of the pool I have gone will probably come as a big shock to a few people.

What holds me back is the same thing that holds us all back, a story as old as time: fear of what others might think of me. Fear that they’ll think I’ve lost my marbles and turned my back on reason, which couldn’t be farther from the truth.

But why should I fear this, when I feel the scales have fallen from my eyes and I finally have caught a glimpse of joy and peace for me in this lifetime, and decided to pursue it, and believe in it?

The difficult thing is putting a name to “it” a definition for this exhilaration and lightheartedness. But the joyful thing is that I don’t feel the need to explain it, I take it as it comes and let it fill my heart with love.


For years I told myself that I must have dreamed them so vividly I thought they were real, but I have decided to accept and believe that the “mystical” experiences I had as a child had a level of truth to them.

The first experience: I was probably around 4 years old. The chickens at my grandma’s house had just hatched some eggs, and I managed to separate a baby chick from its mama to keep as a pet. How I took care of it is very fuzzy in my memory… which is a good indication that I had no idea what I was doing, and that’s probably why the poor thing was dead within a couple of days.

I was heartbroken, and my dad took the opportunity to impart upon me a couple of important lessons. The first was that baby chicks need their mama to be well, and I shouldn’t separate them, and I should be happy enough to just pet the dog.  The second lesson was that heaven and hell existed. He said that life is like a road, and at the end of the road, if we have been good, we go to Heaven, but bad people go to a very bad place called Hell. He assured me that I shouldn’t be sad, because the baby chick was absolutely innocent, therefore it went straight to Heaven.

“Where’s Heaven?” I asked, and he replied,

“Heaven is where God and Jesus live with all the angels, and it’s the best place anywhere. There’s no pain, sickness or suffering, and lots of singing to the Lord all day long!”

Having been a singer since before I could speak, all that singing made heaven sound like my kind of place! Dad’s word that Hell was a very bad place was enough for me and I didn’t ask any more.

After our nightly prayers I started to worry. How would I get into heaven? I started to understand that I had done a very bad thing when I took the baby chick from its mama, and it had died because of my carelessness. I was no longer absolutely innocent. How could I get into heaven? These thoughts lingered in my mind as I went to sleep.

The next thing I know, a sweet feminine voice is calling my name. The curtains are billowing, but I don’t feel a breeze. I feel static in the air, and the hair on my arms and at the back of my neck stands up.

This memory is indelibly etched into my brain. I remember the bedspread on the bed, turquoise blue, with two red and black and yellow and white peacocks and paisleys. My sister slept beside me and didn’t stir.

Suddenly, a flash of light and small treasure chest appears to glow, floating at the foot of the bed, vividly blue, with gold hardware.

It kinda looked like this...

It kinda looked like this…

Jenniffer”, she said, “la llave del cielo está en las buenas acciones.

The key to heaven is in good deeds.

Then, the treasure chest opened, and out of it floated a large golden key, radiating light.

At this point, I got scared. I knew this wasn’t an everyday occurrence, and I called for my grandma. The key and treasure chest disappeared when she turned on the bedroom light, and she didn’t see anything…


Fast forward a few years, to the beginning of the 1990 Gulf War. When I saw it in the news, I became very very afraid. I remembered stories of young men from the neighborhood, in my grandparents’ generation, whose lives were cut short by the Vietnam War.

The draft didn’t discriminate, and Puerto Rican draftees were disproportionately killed in combat, probably in part to a language barrier preventing proper training. My dad was 27 years old, but looked much younger and was very fit, and I was so afraid he would be drafted. He is a peaceful and compassionate man, not compatible with war.

That night, I prayed so hard, for so long, I never said “Amen” before falling asleep.

Again, I awoke to a voice calling my name, but this time it was a deep, masculine voice, so powerful I felt it in my bones, but also full of love. I felt a stirring in my heart and a lump in my throat as I sat on the bed. Again, the curtains were billowing although the wind was calm that night.

Jenniffer, no tengas miedo. El Espíritu Santo está contigo.”

Have no fear. The Holy Spirit is with you.

This may have been the first time in my life I wept tears of joy.

The draft never happened, so I never needed to be afraid in the first place, but the Divine had spoken to me, and taken my fear away.

The memory of these experiences sustained my faith, even though I rarely went to church. They carried me through difficult times in my adolescence, when my struggles with depression first surfaced.

I always felt connected to the divine energy when I was in nature, and when I was singing, but never more than when singing in nature. So that’s what I did whenever I needed comfort. I went outside and sang, and I felt the Holy Spirit within me.

Next time, I’ll tell you the story of how I stopped singing for a long, long time.

Until then, Namaste!

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Sample Relationship Reading: Paul

For: Paul

Spread: Based on the relationship spread found in Shadowscapes Tarot companion book, by Stephanie Pui-Mun Law & Barbara Moore

Deck: Osho Zen Tarot

Question: General Outlook

Card Position

Card Number

Card Name

1: Your Hope

9 of Clouds


2: Her Hope



3: Relationship Strength



4: Your Fear



5: Her Fear

7 of Fire


6: Relationship weakness

Page of Rainbows


7: Final Insight

Page of Clouds


Ozho Zen Tarot is a registered trademark of Osho International.


The first card represents your hope for this relationship, and the 9 of Clouds tells me that you hope to be done shedding tears over your broken heart, you are tired of suffering in love. You feel your love and attention were “wasted” (though love is never really wasted!) in situations where it was not reciprocated.  But this feels different, and so, you dare to hope to be done suffering in love for good!

Her hope for this relationship is similar, she’s actually hoping that this will be a life-
transforming relationship, that all her bad luck will be behind her. She has also been badly hurt by rejection, but feels like this relationship is turning a new leaf in her life, or at least that’s what she’s hoping. A relationship like she’s never had before. The end of all the crap that came before, and the beginning of a completely new stage. (XIII: Transformation)

The greatest strength of this relationship is that it feels so full of possibilities and potential. You are both trying to jump in with both feet first, regardless of how burned you’ve been in the past. Seems you both have kind of an “it’s now or never” attitude about this, and are willing to put in the work towards making the relationship last. (V: No-Thingness).

Your greatest fear in this relationship is that you won’t know how to BE in a good relationship. You have spent so much of your life either alone or in bad relationship situations, that you are afraid that you won’t even recognize the real deal when you find it. You are very set in your ways, too, and you don’t want to have to change in order to make a relationship work, and you are afraid that she might want to change you. (X: Change)

Her greatest fear, on the other hand, is that you will try to control her too much, or that you will constantly want her to jump through hoops to “prove” her love to you. She’s afraid that she’ll end up spending all her energy trying to please you, but still you won’t think it’s good enough. It feels to me like she’s been in a situation where she was made to believe the guy was “doing her a favor” by being with her (real class act, that guy #sarcasm), and is afraid that it might happen again. (7 of Fire: Stress)

The greatest weakness in this relationship is that you are actually both very set in your ways, and may have a hard time shaking things up; you could fall into a comfortable routine that could get boring after a while. You’ll have to make it a point to inject fun things to do into your relationship, and even when making a point of it one or the other might be a bit hesitant, or even resistant to going along with it. (Page of Rainbows: Adventure)

The final card shows us the likely final outcome if things stay on the current track. I don’t believe in predestination, so if this final card isn’t too positive, I look at it as a warning, not an inevitability. In this case, it looks like both you and her are carrying so much emotional baggage, you may get caught up in your own heads in negative assumptions about one’s feelings towards the other. This can lead to a breakdown in communication, where she thinks you’re feeling one way, and you think she’s feeling another, and so you create a mountain out of a molehill, escalating tiny issues into big blowups.

The key to avoid this is to maintain open lines of communication. Speak compassionately to each other, remember that a kind word goes a long way. Always assume that the other person isn’t hurting you intentionally, rather they might be inadvertently pushing buttons that were put there by previous heartbreak. If she says or does something that hurt you, take a step back and a deep breath, and assume it was probably unintentional.  Kindly let her know how she made you feel. You may be surprised at her reaction.

There is definitely a lot of potential for healing for both of you in this relationship. I know it’s hard to let go of the past and “love like you’ve never been hurt before”, but that is precisely what is needed in order for true love to blossom. Allow yourself to be vulnerable with her, and she will do the same with you, and from this, intimacy and love will grow. Talk to each other, and err on the side of openness.

There are three major arcana (more powerful cards!) in this spread: Transformation, No-Thingness, and Change. It seems like there will be some conflict between you because of a fear of change in your part, note the play in between your biggest fear (Change), and her biggest hope (Transformation). Remember that we can only grow by allowing ourselves to change, and MAKING ourselves change for the better. It’s not easy, but it sure is rewarding!

The other major arcana shows up on the relationship’s strength position, while the relationship’s weakness position is taken by a minor arcana card. This tells me that, overall, this relationship is stronger than it is weak. Just like anything else worth doing, it will require work, so watch out for those potential pitfalls.

Good luck! My best wishes for you always 🙂

Note: I use the Osho Zen Tarot Deck for my readings, and make no claim of ownership of copyright. Osho Zen Tarot is copyrighted by Osho International Foundation
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Trending Card for week 1 of 2014: 5 of Fire

During my meditation tonight I had this idea for a series of blog posts, and figured, why not begin with it tonight? Saturday being the traditional end of the week and all that… though I reserve the right to post the Trending Card of the week on Sundays more often than not, considering it’s the end of the weekend, and a more fitting end to the week, in my opinion… but let’s not get caught up in semantics 😉

What is a trending card, you ask? Well, a lot of times it seems like a particular card shows up in the readings I do for people more often than others, for a period of time. Do any of you other tarot readers and/or dabblers find some periods of time where a card just seems to show up in 80% of your readings for all sorts of different people?

So, I thought it would be a good idea to do a little feature on the “Most Frequently Drawn Card” of the week, since it appears a lot of people might be in need of its message.

This week’s card:

Osho Zen Tarot is intellectual property of Osho International

When people interact with each other on a regular basis, such as a troupe of trapeze artists would, they tend to fall into patterns of interaction with each other. These patterns can be wonderfully constructive and synergistic, when we are interacting with others in ways which fulfill both our needs and increase our skills by playing off of each other. We can enrich each other’s lives by bringing out the best in each other.

This card came up for myself when I asked “What should I keep in mind during this gig?” with Anna Brinck and The End of the World, highly skilled musicians who really listen to and respect each other, not to mention have regularly made music together as part of this jazz ensemble or the other for at least the 4 years that I’ve known them (Theresa Reed‘s wonderfully talented son played the drums that night! Smallwaukee 🙂 ). When I sang with them, it felt like being “in the zone”. There was barely any conscious thought to the performance, it just flowed, and the audience was very enthusiastically appreciative. Such a wonderful feeling!

Other times, we fall into destructive and negative patterns. We can’t seem to stop pushing each other’s buttons, poking our fingers into old hurts to make them bleed anew. Like that scene in the movie “Flight”, where Denzel Washington’s character (Whip) shows up drunk at his ex-wife’s house, and she asks him, “Have you been drinking?”

Whip raising his voice and escalating the interaction to a fight, responds with “How long was that? […] 17 seconds before my ex-wife asks me if I’ve been drinking!” You can tell that this is the same fight that broke their marriage apart, the fight that they can’t seem to stop having, because of Whip’s repeated pattern of drinking to excess.

Breaking negative patterns of interaction can be near impossible sometimes. It requires open communication, empathy and compassion for the other, and a willingness to take a step back and objectively look at our own input into these patterns. Not to mention: are we really objectively perceiving what the other person is trying to convey, or only hearing what our bias allows us to hear?

May this be the year we take concrete steps towards breaking our negative patterns of behavior, towards each other, and towards ourselves. Happy 2014!

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Yes! Things are still happening!

Since I decided to offer my services as a tarot reader to the public, I have been gripped by a kind of a fever. I feel like there’s a creative fire that’s been lit under my butt, and like I have finally tapped into the energy within myself that I needed to start living the life I am meant to be living.

I have such high hopes for my future, and see things falling into place, but I also see a LOT of work that I need to do before I get there. That’s why this blog and website have been a little on the quiet side of things, I’m working behind the scenes to get all of the mundane work of starting a business, while navigating the Holiday season, and end of year business in my day job, which is decidedly a big priority for me still, as it is still my main source of income.  Also, I’m still very dedicated to music and singing, so of course that takes up a significant amount of time.

Slowly, but surely, things are coming together for this little venture of mine. I have a logo (website overhaul coming soon!). I still need to get some technicalities, like a separate phone line for my business, but it’s in the works. I have received much support and positive feedback from friends and acquaintances, especially those that I had previously read the cards for. I did encounter a bit of resistance from the passionately skeptical, but ultimately they came to see the purity of my intention and even conceded that my clients would probably benefit from our interactions, and that’s good enough for me, coming from them! 🙂

The wonderful Molly Snyder from OnMilwaukee.com wrote a nice article after we had a nice meeting last week, check it out here!

I’m so excited to see how this project will grow over the course of the next year. We can help each other grow, schedule your reading (or order your email reading) today!

Namaste 🙂

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Insight card: 4 of Rainbows

As the weekend draws to a close, I feel like I have set something in motion which will bring me a lot of joy and fulfillment, although I do know that there is still so much to be work to be done. I drew one card for myself, asking “What do I need to keep in mind as I start out on this new journey?”

The 4 of Rainbows came out (equivalent to the 4 of Pentacles in the traditional suits), reminding me that I need to keep an open heart and not lose sight of my personal relationships (including my relationship with myself!) in a quest to make this new business profitable. But also to remind me that I will need to put in the work necessary before it becomes profitable. Balance needs to be the name of the game, which, in my excitement, has gone by the wayside in these past three days.

4R The Miser

It also makes me think that I need to really, REALLY, be serious about treating this as a business, and not let people take advantage of my generosity. Remember that oftentimes we need to spend money in order to make money, and starting a business always constitutes a risk.

I may have high-flying dreams, but I need to keep my day job still! It’s important to be present, wherever I may be.

With that, I bid you all a good night! I think my cats have missed my attention this weekend, and some snuggles are in order… let’s strike that balance!

Namaste, and have a wonderful week!

Note: I use the Osho Zen Tarot Deck for my readings, and make no claim of ownership of copyright. Osho Zen Tarot is copyrighted by Osho International Foundation
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Sample Reading: Celtic Cross for Rebecca

The name has been changed to protect the client’s privacy. But this what you can expect to receive as a standard reading:

For: Rebecca, November 30, 2013

Spread: Celtic Cross

Deck: Osho Zen Tarot

Question: General Outlook

Card Position

Card Number

Card Name

1: Current Situation

Queen of Fire (QF)


2: Obstacles/Opportunities

King of Clouds (KC)


3: Highest ideal

Queen of Water (QW)


4: What grounds you

5 of Water (5W)

Clinging to the past

5: Energy leaving the situation



6: Energy entering the situation

Page of Fire (PF)


7: You, your attitude in your life situation


The Lovers

8: Your environment


New Vision

9: Your Best Hopes/Worst Fears


The Rebel

10: Final Outcome


Beyond Illusion



You have a generous heart, and have so much to give to others. (QF) There is nothing more gratifying to you than to help someone else. Making someone else’s day makes your day too 🙂 Your ideal life would have you creating your art, and selling it, having your shop do great business, and then turning right back around and spreading the joy with your friends, which are many. You have a sparkle about you, great charm, or so it would seem from all the stars on the pictures of this spread!

Unfortunately, there are so many other things that need to be taken care of, so you don’t get to engage in enough of what you want to do. Too much unpleasant stuff that demands to be done (KC). Such is the nature of the grind of this world, and the society in which we live.  But it doesn’t seem like you’re letting it get to you too much, you have all of these other overwhelmingly positive cards in this reading!

Your highest ideal is to be enlightened, pretty much, to connect to the source of the light of the Universe. To have an open heart and truly be able to live in the moment, feeling all the feelings that need to be felt, but not allowing past pain and sorrow to linger and spoil the present moment, at least not for too long. To be present in what you are doing, and inspired in your art and having a fine-tuned intuition.

I think of the 4th position on this spread as your “toolkit”, what you have to draw upon to continue on your way, and it is that you have internalized your past experiences. You learn from your mistakes, for the most part, but you also understand that pain needs to be let go, and you strive for it. Some wounds run deep, especially those imprints that go back to our formative years, and they mark us for life, but one has to give it the good ol’ college try, right? You understand all this, as the Queen of Water shows.

The energy leaving the situation is the first Major arcana to show up on this spread, as we discussed, these are cards of higher significance than the minor arcana, which deal more with the mundane details of every day life, and it is I: Existence. In the traditional  Rider-Waite tarot deck (pretty much the basic standard), this card is known as The Magician, and it represents having a sense of purpose to make things happen, and following through with it. You have a clear sense of what you are supposed to be doing in this world, and you are doing your darnedest so you can make it so.

The energy entering the situation is an active attitude of joy, you’re trying to get out there and spend more time with all those you care about, and generally enjoying life in the moment, and celebrating every second of it.

You are currently in love (IV), and it’s pretty obvious and all-encompassing right now. You are the most in love you remember being, and it feels true, and right. This probably has a lot to do with how wonderfully sunny and cheerful your cards are.

A heart full of love is a joyful heart indeed 🙂

Your environment is just so ripe with creative, wonderful people. Life just feels full of creative possibilities, and you are surrounded by individuals who are all sharing in this awareness of the true nature of existence. There is joy around you, and there will continue to be, I feel, since the image in the 8th position is pretty much in an identical position to the image in the 6th position.

Your Best Hope right now, since you are so, so giddily in love ;-D, is that your boyfriend does turn out to be the dependable, stable partner that you are hoping for, that he will be The One. On the flip side, your biggest fear is that he will not want to commit to you, and the more I think about it, the more it seems that the fear aspect of this card is what you need to bring attention to. Let go of this fear by accepting and understanding that when you truly love someone, you don’t try to own them. Don’t worry so much about whether he’s going to stick around, instead, rejoice in the fact that he is with you and enjoy the journey. I’m reminded of the song “Nice n’ Easy”, as Frank Sinatra recorded it. Check it out, and take it to heart 🙂 This will allow you to relax in his presence, and he will feel the ease in the tension, which will make him lower his guard a little more, and let you in closer.

The Final outcome card, and synthesis of the reading: You really have a very clear understanding of what’s going on in your life, and a clear vision of where you want to go. You understand that pain is an inevitable part of life, and you don’t cling to it in an unhealthy way. You are most definitely following you true calling and are being true to yourself.

All the Major Arcana and Court cards in your spread indicate to me that this is a very powerful transformational time for you, your life is going through a lot of changes, and it’s all very exciting. The momentum is in your favor, you just gotta stay true to your heart and things will continue to go well. Keep listening to your intuition, it’s steering you in the right direction!

Feedback from Rebecca


Thank you so much! This is incredible and it was wonderful meeting you. […] I was so astonished and pleased with your reading! You are quite gifted.

 Note: I use the Osho Zen Tarot Deck for my readings, and make no claim of ownership of copyright. Osho Zen Tarot is copyrighted by Osho International Foundation
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I am so excited to get this site up and running! While the blog gets built and the rest of the content gets added, please check out my About Jen page and get to know me a little better.

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